I’ve never been a smoker if you don’t count the time,

I nicked a fag from my mother, not a terrible crime,

‘twas at the age of three or four that I inhaled it with zeal,

It didn’t occur to me that it was such a big deal,

And after taking a proper drag, which made me cough and splutter,

I couldn’t see the point of it unless you were a nutter,

Determined I’ve been for all these years to remain nicotine free,

My lungs would not be converted into a smoke filled chimney,

So it is with deep regret that when I walk outside,

There are smokers everywhere, no shame, no need to hide,

At first the trailing smell which managed my unblocked nostril to fill,

Made me recoil trying to avoid this cigarette invasion against my will,

Until I realised it no longer bothered me or caused me immediate harm,

In fact with horror it dawned on me, it made me feel quite calm,

I’d become a passive smoker whether I liked it or not,

And there wasn’t much I could do about it, just wait for my lungs to rot.

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