A Smelly Affair

I tend to get nervous when flying in the sky,

It’s just not natural for humans to float so bloody high,

I walked through the airport and boarded the plane,

And even though my knees did shake, a cool look I did feign,

All was going well as I strapped myself in,

Should I take a valium now or a tot of gin,

But no it was too soon, the craft began to move fast,

And then it gathered speed, we were taking off at last,

But before we left the ground below I whiffed a horrid smell,

The air hostess opposite me noticed it as well,

And then I heard a voice announce as the engines slowed,

A technical problem had been found, I understood the code,

The plane I was in was no good, it was broken somehow,

And I wanted to get off it this instant, let me out right now,

The stewardesses came down the aisle and I was asked by at least two,

Had I smelt anything unusual, I wondered what to do,

Of course I had smelt lots of things, which I described with glee,

But why the interest in one flatulent passenger’s gaseous escapee,

We were all questioned similarly and then the heavies arrived,

The cabin crew’s turn to inspect, the pilot at their side,

They sniffed and snorted, the air they smelt,

I had a whiff myself to check what they felt,

This carried on for two hours until a decision was made,

The plane was fine, the smell was gone our departure was okayed,

For the nine hours that we cruised I checked for any strange scent,

And I smelt my fair share of odorous pongs, they came and they went,

But I ask you shouldn’t a multimillion vessel be installed with sensors all about,

To detect for danger in a more accurate way than a human schnozzle or snout.

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One Response to A Smelly Affair

  1. Bobsie Jayes says:

    Unbelievably witty, especially the “shnozzle” remark. Your talent has no bounds

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