Who Can Resist A Competition

I couldn’t resist it, I would give it a go,

Use fifteen percent less electricity and less I would owe,

Rewarded with a big discount in my monthly bill,

An acknowledged environmental saver, it sounded brill,

So I hummed and I hawed and thought of a plan,

Of what wasting of power I would have to ban,

The clothes dryer an obvious choice I couldn’t do without,

So it would be lights and air conditioning that would be rationed about,

And I have been so good, because I want to win,

The electricity board’s idea of a fun competition,

So even though I gaze longingly at the air conditioning unit,

I will not succumb, and bloody well ruin it,

Instead I sit in the lounge and I start to sweat,

But it’s natural for ones armpits to feel slightly wet,

My face is all rosy as the fire takes hold,

But I am a winner and I will not fold,

Ice cubes from the freezer, my weapon of choice,

Applied strategically, adds truth to my voice,

When I tell the kids its fine, not hot at all,

To stop complaining, I’m feeling cool,

The children hide upstairs where the air conditioning is switched on,

But I am too weak for stairs, to turn off their air con,

Oh, I can’t wait for the electricity bill to see how I have fared,

And if I haven’t won my discount, no one will be spared,

And then bugger environmental, I will use what I want all day long,

So Electricity Board be warned, don’t do me no wrong.

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